Dicception
by Casidel Bowen
Summary: Ariadne tells Arthur the story of how she found the inspiration for her totem, and it isn't what he expected.


**Dicception**

**by Casidel Bowen**

"The second time Cobb introduced me to the dreamscape," said Ariadne, "Was when he was instructing me on how to build my totem.

"I had no idea what I ought to do, so I thought I'd get his assistance to help me find the inspiration that I needed to create a totem that felt... well, me. And what better way to do that than by literally looking for it in my own head, right?

"We started our search in local cafe I remembered from Venice, eating these tiny fried weenies shaped to look like octopi, when he pointed out an inconsistency in the world which might be our key. It was a giant marble tower shaped like a penis.

"'The thing about inconsistencies in dreams,' Cobb told me, 'Is that in all cases they represent an extreme. A spike in the consciousness which holds our attention. They're what we fear, adore and obsess over. They simultaneously guide and revolt us. To find your totem, we'll follow them like breadcrumbs to the source.' And that was what we did. One minute we were looking at the dick in the distance, the next we were on top of it.

"Peering in, the endless shaft was filled with gently waving phalluses like cilia on a sea cumcumber. Cobb said the only way forward was to follow it to the end. So, that's what I did. I dove in, the millions upon millions of dicks shivering as I passed, slowly growing inwards as I fell closer to the bottom, until I could feel them brushing against my cheeks and all over my body and through my clothing. The differences in tensile strength between the hard, throbbing ones and the soft, shy ones made bumpy waves all over me which felt like an expert masseur rubbing down the entirety of my body at all at once.

"When I opened my eyes, I was on a sprawling beach. Everything in that environment was dick shaped. There were penis umbrellas with multicolored penis patterns covering their fabric. There were phallic blankets and towels. Crabs with dick claws scuttled in the surf. Even the grains of sand looked like microscale members piling together in my palm. And in the distance, giant phalluses the size of skyscrapers gradually lost their elasticity to the sea's erosion and melted into the waves.

"Cobb appeared behind me, gently squeezed both my shoulders which was startling and walked around to face me. He was dressed all in black, in a tux he hadn't worn before, and when he sat we were facing each other across a chess board set solely with tiny golden vibrators. 'Have you found what you were looking for,' he asked, as the waves crashed around us. Sea foam drifting by like ghostly ropes of cum. And I said I had.

"After that, I came back to the workshop and started working on my totem. But when I asked Cobb if he remembered diving with me to the ocean's edge in my mind, he said he hadn't. That he'd only led me to the door, and I alone had passed through to the very end. Meanwhile, I tried to remember the footprints he'd made when he went to face me. And though I felt the shadowy imprints of dicks on my brain, I couldn't recall their exact shape, or even if they existed at all. I could only distinguish the vague feeling of being surrounded by venous bubers. I could only see the chess board with its shining, golden hoard of slick, shimmering dicks in the sun.

"Imagination reignited; I breathed in, and allowed my hands to guide me in the workshop. And that's how I came up with my totem."

"Wait," said Arthur, stirring upright from his relaxed position on the couch to address Ariadne directly, "I thought your totem was a golden bishop. Are you saying it was a dildo this whole time!?"

The End.

**AN: I always thought it was weird how the Inception crew never ran into bizarre sex stuff, or anything even remotely surreal, as they dove through multitudinous dreamscapes...**

**Also, when I started this Arthur was the one telling the story and Ariadne was listening in on the couch. But then I went on the Wiki and found that Ariadne was the one with the golden bishop. I thought of shelving it for a while, until I remembered a ton of different women in my undergrad dorms who had these substantial collections of dildos. Then, I thought, what about their stories? And where does that impulse come from? Could I depict that feeling semantically? In the end, I'm glad I made the switch.**

**If you're a girl with a massive hoard of funky vibrators, of all colors and contours, I hope you got a kick out of this!**


End file.
